Trans theorists have answers to these questions, not all the same answers, mind you. There are many millions of impenetrable words, many careers built on generating, teaching and policing the approved ideas about gender.
So here, I am an old bloke, who does stuff with machines, in a shared workspace, One of those groovy places where internet entrepreneurs do whatever they do when they start up. On a chipboard desk, sat over from a load of strangers, young enough to be my kids. I'm about to expound on stuff that people with multiple liberal arts degrees have made a living on. With a 40 year old CSE grade 1 in English and an in depth knowledge of low borderline obsolete technologies.